At the end of the day…

4 Aug

Dear readers (if there were any),

I think i owe you something. I need to say this to you:

Every year, wedding business harvests billions bucks (you bet it does). People wants to have their dream wedding come true, which is okay. .. but then magical economy law occurs; there are regular needs of millions people. Voila! There are business potentials here. Someone can make money. Oh and not the basic usual needs. It has something to do with community, family, value, and emotion. We put them all together, and guess what we get..? Clue: emotion + money = it can surely lead us to some place… not always heaven, tell ya fellows.

The massive demand of make romantic-beautiful-elegant-perfect-not-only-proper-wedding gives us some kind of an equilibrium price or whatever they called it (I wasn’t majoring economics back then in colleague, so…). Eventually, we ended up paying highly unreasonable price for flowers and dresses and rings. And we thought the price is okay: “It should be that pricey, this is once in a lifetime moment, I want it to be nothing but perfect. Don’t care if I can’t afford it.”

What I felt after months been preparing my wedding, which is nothing like what I dreamt about when I was little girl by the way.., is that the idea of wedding itself is overrated. It’s not worth the price. 3 days wedding will be gone forever. Maybe you’ll have these super astonishing photo books, with wonderful package, drawers or cupboard sized with fifteen stacks on it… but is it worth it? Sure, if you have trillions rupiahs in your financial portfolio.  However, if you thought that you’re middle class worker BUT:

  1. Don’t even start to have liquid 9 months-expenses as emergency fund,
  2. Don’t have a proper nest (which you own yourself) to live with your new family,
  3. Never invested your money on any financial instrument to maintain the value of your wealth in the future, not to mention to grow it against the yearly inflation and make sure that your children will be able to get proper education someday,
  4. Still buy things you don’t need impulsively just to find that you have added your high amounts of debts in your credit card, which you could only pay the minimum amount every months in order to avoid the debt collector knocks on your door,

It’s really okay to have beautiful wedding photos and the photo book as long as we can afford it

Don’t you think that it’s better to use the money for something more beneficial, such as:

  1. Pay your debts
  2. Emergency fund (which is about 6-9 months expenses)
  3. DP for your own house/apartment (whatever you afford)
  4. Reksadana, Obligasi, Property (ies)
  5. Save for the insurance premium you’ll need to pay after having children (if you and your spouse are currently working, otherwise one of you might have to start having the insurance now)

??

This may sound cliché and you’ve heard it again and again and again… but really

For me, the life after marriage is way more challenging YET more fun and less drama than Wedding preparation. I hope it can be what it is now or better for tomorrow. So, don’t put to much energy for your wedding preparation. You don’t need to stay in hospital to understand it. You can go over hundreds websites and blog and then what? The vendor people reviewed is not always as good as what people say. Sometimes they’re satisfied you and sometimes they’re overrated.

So, how would we know?

Perhaps, I can suggest you this, if many people recommend wedding vendors:

  1. Take a look at their websites or blogs and check their products or services,
  2. If one suits you, call them, make appointment and TRY (if applicable) their service or product,
  3. Stop looking for other vendor if you have found one that serve well and suit your budget,
  4. Don’t pursue perfectness of every detail. The devil in it will KILL you.
  5. None else will be as care as you are about this wedding. So, why bother? It’s not like the one and most important party in your life. The ‘ijab qabul’ / holy matrimony part when you say ‘i do’ is the one you’ll remember your entire life and give butterfly in your stomach every time you recall it.

….

I really want to share about the Life after Married. I’m considering making a new blogs. But I have already some others and yet they don’t fit with marriage story… I guess. My option is to redecorate one of them and make it a proper place to a new life. The new chapter of life.

 

Blessed,

 

C

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